Wild Parenting

Someone recently asked a question that I immediately dismissed as ridiculous.

That question was, “What parenting lessons can we learn from wild animals?” Growing up in a rural area, I witnessed both nurturing relationships between animals as well as harsh animal parenting. (For example, the old feral tomcat that killed his own kittens whenever he got the chance.) Humans possess the power of reasoning. What possible enlightenment could animals provide about raising children with an optimistic outcome in life?

Basic Instincts

Then it hit me. Our ability to reason is a disadvantage for the most basic of all survival skills—intuition. Having quick and ready insight (not based on rational thought) can be an advantage, but humans often rationalize away their instinctive impulses. Instinct causes animals to run from danger without over-thinking the situation. When humans listen to their intuitive instincts they can sometimes avoid dangerous situations, discern real friends from those that cannot be trusted, and make better choices in life. Teaching children to recognize and value their own intuition can help them become more resilient.

Tuned In

How can parents help their children recognize and listen to intuition? One way to start is by encouraging children to have simple interactions with others while parents cast a watchful and protective eye. For example, while shopping together in a store, your child could ask someone directions to the nearest drinking fountain while you watch. Immediately following the interaction, ask your child what they felt about the person with whom they just interacted. Discuss what they report and encourage them to tune into their feelings (instincts) when interacting with others. This is a true parenting lesson from the wild.

Gavin de Becker is a national expert on using instincts to predict and avoid dangerous situations. He has done much work to help parents keep kids safe. For more information, check out his website at www.gavindebecker.com.