Mom, Are We Poor?

I pulled into the parking lot of my favorite, discount department store. I was ready to dig for bargains. My daughter looked at me and asked, “Mom, are we poor?” In her mind, if we were not in financial trouble there was no reason to shop on-the-cheap. This conversation with my 10 year old happened in 2004. The economy was strong and families were spending…a lot. Five years later, my daughter (and most Americans) are experiencing altered economic realities, up-close and personal.

Kids in school today were born after 1991. They have been described as a generation with entitlement issues. In today’s economic climate, it’s even more important to debunk the myth that one deserves unearned rewards, benefits, or privileges. In an era of bailouts and handouts, how do we curtail entitlement? Can anything good come from today’s “new normal” of job losses, business closings, and economic uncertainty?

The Gratus Generation
We can make our kids more resilient by considering the difference between two Latin words: gratus (grateful/thankful/acceptable) and gratis (for free/unearned/without charge). Here are five simple ways to direct kids towards gratitude and away from unearned entitlement:

1. Say Yes To No: When making purchasing decisions, occasionally let your kids hear you say, “No, we don’t need that right now.” even if you can easily afford the item. This will help them realize the difference between wants and needs. Controlling our desires for material things and being grateful for what we already have are powerful lessons for kids.

2. Valuing Values: Teach kids about the value (monetary worth) of common items. Show your children how they can contribute to your household economy by using coupons and introduce them to less expensive generic or store brands. Being thrifty helps people feel less helpless and builds resilience by being more in control of one’s spending.

3. Good For Nothing: Find ways for your kids to help others while expecting nothing in return. Perhaps they can rake leaves for an elderly neighbor or clean their grandparent’s bathroom. Show them that menial jobs are not beneath their dignity. In fact, helping others feels great and keeps us involved and engaged—keys to resilience.

4. Stress Success: View these stressful times as an opportunity for new learning. Make a greater effort to understand today’s economic and political issues. Find news stories about people who sacrificed to work their way out of bad debt rather than filing for bankruptcy. Share these success stories with your children.

5. Positively Hopeful: When you discuss current issues with your kids, do so in a way that doesn’t diminish their hope for the future. Talk about ways that your family is positively impacting its own future during these tough times.

Today’s difficult economic and political times will eventually pass, but the lessons that can be learned will last for many economic cycles to come. Take advantage of this opportunity and help build the foundation for a new “Greatest Generation.”