Alice Cooper’s song “School’s Out” keeps playing in my head! Today is my daughter’s last day of seventh grade. She made it through her first year of junior high. Summer is coming just in time—she needs a break.
A few years ago during a particularly rough school year, we talked about how things were going. I was surprised to find out my daughter believed adults had to be good at everything to have a successful life. I’m glad we talked about it because she was very discouraged and thought life would be a continuation of her struggles in class.
School Gets Us Ready For Life
A few years ago during a particularly rough school year, we talked about how things were going. I was surprised to find out my daughter believed adults had to be good at everything to have a successful life. I’m glad we talked about it because she was very discouraged and thought life would be a continuation of her struggles in class.
School Gets Us Ready For Life
But Life Is Not Just Like School
To graduate from high school, we need knowledge in a variety of subjects. After that, we are able to pursue a career that peaks our individual interests. That’s why it is important for your child to begin noticing his or her interests and gifts at a young age. In the working world, many adults collaborate with other people who have different gifts, expertise, and interests. Successful adults are not good at everything!
My interests changed the day I became a Mom. For me, that has opened up a whole new career. Visit my site at www.optimisticoutcomes.com to see where my interests have taken me.
I’d love to hear your stories:
How do you role model using your personal interests and talents as an adult? How do your children think they will use their own gifts and interests as adults?
To graduate from high school, we need knowledge in a variety of subjects. After that, we are able to pursue a career that peaks our individual interests. That’s why it is important for your child to begin noticing his or her interests and gifts at a young age. In the working world, many adults collaborate with other people who have different gifts, expertise, and interests. Successful adults are not good at everything!
My interests changed the day I became a Mom. For me, that has opened up a whole new career. Visit my site at www.optimisticoutcomes.com to see where my interests have taken me.
I’d love to hear your stories:
How do you role model using your personal interests and talents as an adult? How do your children think they will use their own gifts and interests as adults?
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4 comments:
Ms McKay, thanks for hosting the discussion. As I think about how influential parents can be with even subtle suggestions, it's important that we support our kids by acknowledging their talents--letting their talents play a strong role in what they become, rather than imposing our wishes on them as to what we think they should become.
Hello Brent,
I am so glad you posted this comment. I agree with you. I don’t think most parents mean to discourage their children, but many of us find ourselves subtly discouraging rather than encouraging our kids.
As I have talked with parents over the years, I have noticed that those who are trying to influence their child’s interests are often doing so out of fear. Parents want to make sure their child will have a good future, be happy, and be able to make a decent living. Unfortunately, this type of pressure rarely results in an optimistic outcome. On the other hand, parents could ask themselves a simple question when they notice that a child has a particular talent, interest, or gift. That question is:
“How can I leverage this (talent, interest, or gift) to help my child engage in the learning process and acquire some valuable life skills?”
Let me give you an example. Our daughter has had several career interests over the years that caused me to worry. At one point she wanted to be a paleontologist. As her mom, I knew that she often had a short attention span and strongly disliked being outside in the hot sun for long. However, I also knew that she could be extremely focused and driven if something interested her. Rather than discouraging her, we talked about the skills she would need if she eventually decided to pursue this career. By relating these needed skills to what she was doing in school, we were able to peak her interest in subjects she didn’t typically like.
• At that time, she didn’t like to read fictional chapter books, so we encouraged her to read reference books about pre-historic animals. We were amazed at her comprehension and retention of the information of these very difficult books.
• We also discussed ways she could develop her writing skills. Paleontologists need to journal their discoveries and often write grants in order to secure funding. She would not have considered how writing impacts that career choice if we had not discussed it with her.
• We also used the opportunity to encourage her in areas that she already had an interest—like math and science.
Relating a child’s natural passions and curiosity to real-life skills is a great way to engage them in the learning process. Parents can use a child’s personal interests to inspire them and to foster a sense of discovery. It is truly a great opportunity for parents.
I would love to hear how other parents (and caregivers) have maximized a child’s talents, interests, or gifts. Have you had any successes or struggles with this?
Maureen,
Parental influence is effective when the children are younger and parents have spent time with them to find out their interest, encourage and guide the children along. The minutes that the children hit teens, it is a challenge for parents. Most of the times it always turned into heated argument and perceived that parenting are imposing our wishes onto the children.
Hua
Dear Hua,
Thanks for you post! I agree that ideally parents begin this process at an early age. By the time children become teenagers, their brains are changing at an incredible pace. This brain development actually alters the way in which parents can effectively communicate with teenagers.
Often, the teenage years are when parents notice their child becoming quick to anger and at the same time exhibiting impulse control problems. As I work with teenagers at my daughter’s school, I find it very helpful to understand why this is happening. Once we realize that a teenager’s actions are often the product of a developing brain, we can get past our own anger/bewilderment and learn to reach them better.
I highly recommend the book “Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen” by David Walsh. Dr. Walsh does an excellent job of demystifying the communication roadblocks that crop up in families of teenagers and he gives great suggestions on ways to work around those roadblocks.
Thanks for your great comments.
Maureen
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